Today marks a week since I started doing Wii Fit Plus, and also the first time I tried to do a plank on it. Suffice to say after 8 seconds I started screaming “NOPE ABORT” and started panicking and trying to figure out how to exit the activity. Anyways.
IT’S TIME. It’s time for y’all to learn the game that’s pronounced like “kəbuː” but I’m not sure how to spel (Ceboo? Caboo? Keboo? Kaboo? Cabu? Kabu? Cebu? Kabu?), so I’m going to go full-on Gorgl’psi and just call it Q’bu.
To play Q’bu you need a standard 52 card deck along with 2 jokers. The goal of the game is to have your hand add up to 3 or less points. 2-10 are worth the value on the card, aces are worth one point, face cards are worth 10 points, jokers are worth 0 points, and red kings are worth -1 points.
You start the game by dealing out four cards to each player facedown, two a row. The player may look at the bottom two cards only and are not allowed to look at them again unless they get a special card. (A player gets 5 if they lost the last round as part of their top row.) Play goes around by picking up cards from the deck and then choosing whether to put it in the discard pile or swap with a card in your hand and put that card in the discard pile. If you discard certain cards directly from the deck, you can perform special actions:
- 7 & 8: Look at one of your own cards
- 9 & 10: Look at somebody else’s card
- Jack & Queen: Blind swap (swap two cards without looking at them)
- Black King: Smart swap (look at two cards and decide whether or not to swap them)
If a player discards a card, one player can then discard or “burn” any cards they have that have the same rank. If someone burns a card that doesn’t match, they have to pick up an extra card to add to their hand.
In addition, you can burn a card for someone else if you know their card matches the one just discarded. In turn, you can take one of your cards and add it to their hand. It’s kind of like burning one of your own cards, but also probably making their hand worse.
And in case you were wondering, you’re not allowed to take notes on the cards around the table – ya gotta keep it in your head. My brother remembers it by tapping out a rhythm, I personally use the tactic of rhythmically clicking my tongue.
When a player has 3 or less points in their hand and think they can win, instead of picking up a card they say “Q’bu”. This player’s hand gets “locked” and they are now the only player at the table who can win or lose; every other player gets one more turn to try and beat their hand. After everyone else has played, everyone reveals their hand. If the person who said “Q’bu” has the best hand, they win. If anyone else at the table has a better hand, they lose.
If you’re playing competitively, each time someone wins they get a point and each time someone loses they lose a point; rounds of play continue until someone reaches 5 points (or was it 3? I forget pick your own number).
So that’s how to play Q’bu!
In other news, I published a poetry today! If you didn’t know I’ve written a lot of poetry. It’s called “Lamp” and explains some things and probably makes people more confused for anyone who tries to follow along with whatever’s happening in this crazy multiverse of stories I’ve made up.
Boy howdy I hope this explanation of gameplay made sense. That’s all for today!